President Winfrey Meets ‘The Resistance’

Printed from: http://newbostonpost.com/2018/01/08/president-winfrey-meets-the-resistance/

It’s February 2021, just a few weeks into the Oprah Winfrey Administration, and, far from healing America’s divides, it turns out that President Winfrey has only deepened them.

Hundreds of thousands of Americans who had voted to re-elect President Donald Trump take to the streets in mass protests in dozens of American cities, wearing white “Keep America Great” hats, carrying “Resist!” signs, and driving pickup trucks with gun racks and bumper stickers that say “Not My President.” These volunteer activists push Republican Congressmen and senators to vote against every single one of Winfrey’s cabinet nominees and judicial picks — even the ones with the most mainstream credentials. They refer to themselves as “the resistance,” spending their spare minutes on cell phones, speed-dialing Congressional offices to urge them to oppose the Winfrey agenda and Facebooking thinly sourced stories about the possibility of drastic policy reversals.

With the administration just getting under way, a vocal corps of activist groups and conservative media outlets nevertheless advance scenarios by which President Winfrey might possibly be impeached or removed from office under the provisions of the 25th Amendment. They call for an independent investigation of whether Canadian and Mexican diplomats, upset about President Trump’s efforts to renegotiate the North American Free Trade Agreement, had subtly tipped the election in favor of Winfrey. 

The theory is that the Mexicans and Canadians had conspired to raise prices on avocados and maple syrup in the weeks before the vote, fanning concerns about inflation that were amplified by a “Fifth Column” of American anti-Trump journalists with ties to Canada and Mexico. When Winfrey tries to replace the Trump-appointed FBI director with her own loyalist, the “resistance” calls it clear evidence of obstruction of justice, and insists that an FBI independent of presidential interference is essential to a free society.

Meanwhile, a hardcore band of “NeverOprahs” formerly within the Democratic Party keep up a drumbeat of opposition, insisting that the cult of personality around the billionaire television star with the unconventional family life and no prior political experience is a likely prelude to fascism. The “NeverOprahs” accuse all Democrats and independents who see anything but sheer gloom in the Winfrey administration of “normalizing” her. The “NeverOprahs” accuse Democrats and independents of being stained with moral turpitude any time that they fail to display the appropriate level of anxiety-verging-on-panic at the accession to power of a president who has been to fewer than the minimum required number of editorial board meetings or Davos conferences.

Meanwhile, Presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter, along with George H.W. Bush, quietly let it be known that they hadn’t voted for Winfrey.

When Winfrey declines to sell her media holdings entirely before taking office, the newspapers quote all the watchdog groups complaining about how it could pose a conflict of interest, and how nothing short of a total divestiture and a blind trust would adequately protect her from the risk of ethical compromise. Judicial Watch files a lawsuit, claiming that television commercials bought on the Oprah show by the Canadian and Mexican tourism promotion boards meet the definition of “emoluments” under the text of the Constitution.

A psychiatrist from Regent University publishes a book exploring whether Winfrey’s childhood trauma experiences rendered her mentally unfit for office. Republican congressmen call the psychiatrist to Capitol Hill for meetings, prompting a round of earnest news articles.

When President Winfrey wears a black leather top, the New York Times chief fashion critic writes that it reminds her of Hermann Goering.

All of this is just my imagination of a possible future scenario, of course. Oprah Winfrey hasn’t run for president, let alone won or taken office. 

It’s not an entirely imaginary scenario, either, though.

Loyal, vigorous opposition is as American as America itself.  Resist away, as far as I am concerned. On some issues, I may even join on the barricades.

But the country might be stronger and healthier, and we all might be a little happier, if the anti-Trump “resistance” conducted itself with a little more awareness that some day the tables may be turned. At least, it could give the Winfrey administration a better shot at success.

 

Ira Stoll is editor of FutureOfCapitalism.com and author of JFK, Conservative.

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