Kerry for President

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Let it not be said that we were for John Kerry before we were against him.

When it comes to the former Massachusetts lieutenant governor running for president in 2020, we’re all in.

Kerry’s announcement, if that’s what it was – to a Palestinian Authority adviser, in London, via The Jerusalem Post — is all the more noteworthy for its unusualness. Who needs American voters when you can wrap up the foreign diplomatic corps?

Where, let’s face it, Kerry was a standout. When we think of U.S. Secretaries of State who have gone on to become president of the United States, who wouldn’t play the statesman word association game this way?

Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, John Quincy Adams … John Kerry

We need a steady hand at the rudder of foreign affairs, and which potential candidate for president has windsurfed in more places than John Kerry?

We need a candidate who understands tax policy, things like how Massachusetts has a sales tax on yacht purchases, while Rhode Island doesn’t.

Despite his impressive resume, healthy federal pension, and indirect access to the Heinz ketchup fortune, John Kerry is the Everyman. Who among us hasn’t botched a joke about how dumb and uneducated U.S. soldiers who went to Iraq are?

We need someone who understands the passions of the people – a fan of, say, the legendary Rex Sox player “Manny Ortez.”

And Kerry’s right when he says age isn’t an issue. Seventy-seven is the new seventy-six.

Oprah, Hillary, Liz, Corey Booker, stand aside. Democrats already have their candidate, and he’s been staring you in the face the whole time. Possibly you didn’t recognize him. That botox is a hell of a drug.

There’s only one impediment we see to a Kerry candidacy in 2020. What about the Kerry Initiative?

When Yale announced last year that Kerry would be leading a sort of … program … at the university seeking global solutions to problems both local and non-existent, it seemed that one of the great injustices of modern times might finally be fixed. John Kerry at last had a clear path to the Nobel Peace Prize.

But this important work could veer off-course if Kerry has to spend inordinate amounts of time in non-Initiative places like Iowa and New Hampshire. They’re a long way from Aspen, Vail, and Whistler.

That stunning climate change conference that Kerry led last fall featuring Leonardo DiCaprio, for instance – would that sort of thing be able to continue if Kerry were doing meet-and-greets in Dubuque or Nashua?

What about the campus teas where sophomore coeds can interact with Kerry one-on-one?  (“Please call me John.”)

And what will Yale do with the $2 million or so the university is apparently spending on the “initiative”?

John Kerry is a national treasure, but he’s also a Yale treasure (’66). He cannot be allowed to leave without a suitable stand-in who can serve during Kerry’s two terms as president of the United States, until he returns to Yale in 2029 at age 86.

Mr. Secretary Kerry, you can run for president only if Bill Clinton (J.D. ’73) takes your place.