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I knew buying a Cybertruck would turn heads, but I never expected it to turn people against me. Yet here I am, fresh from a road trip to my home state of Massachusetts, where my futuristic, stainless steel masterpiece was met with the warm embrace of … insults and bad attitudes.
Boston, You Wound Me
I drove into the city expecting admiration — maybe a few thumbs-ups, a curious “Hey, is that thing bulletproof?” (It is, kind of, but let’s not test it.) Instead, I got glares, sneers, and a guy in a Prius who flipped me off with the aggression of someone who just found out oat milk isn’t actually healthier than regular milk.
I get it. The Cybertruck is different. It looks like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. But why does that make me the villain? It’s not like I’m rolling coal in a lifted diesel truck while blaring Kid Rock. I’m literally driving one of the most energy-efficient, innovative vehicles on the road. But apparently, that didn’t matter in Boston, where the locals acted like I had personally run over their childhood dreams.
And the comments? Oh, the comments.
“That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen!” – Said by a man wearing Crocs with socks.
“Elon fanboy, huh?” – Buddy, I ordered this thing long before Elon was launching flamethrowers and tweeting his way into controversy.
“What are you compensating for?” – A sense of adventure and superior taste, that’s what.
But here’s what really bugs me: Why do people have so much time to hate on a truck? Why don’t they focus on real problems — like hunger, homelessness, or figuring out why printer ink costs more per ounce than fine whiskey?
The people at Tesla are working on some of the biggest issues of our time — clean energy, sustainable transportation, and making sure we don’t cook the planet like a Hot Pocket. They don’t deserve this nonsense. Cybertruck owners don’t deserve this nonsense. I just wanted to enjoy my drive without feeling like I’d shown up to a vegan potluck with a cheeseburger.
If you don’t like Tesla, fine. If you don’t like Elon, that’s your prerogative. But why does that mean my truck has to be the town punching bag?
Oh, and speaking of people with way too much time on their hands — have you seen this nonsense called DOGEQUEST? It’s a site that maps out Tesla landmarks and subtly (or not-so-subtly) encourages people to, let’s say, “creatively express” their opinions about Teslas. They even have a section about how to get your personal info removed — just prove you sold your Tesla! Gee, how generous of them.
DOGEQUEST neither endorses nor condemns vandalism? Great. I neither endorse nor condemn thinking this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.
At the end of the day, I still love my Cybertruck. It’s absurdly cool, it turns every drive into an event, and honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything — even if I have to dodge side-eyes and snide comments along the way.
To all the haters out there: If you don’t like my truck, that’s fine. But maybe — just maybe — focus your energy on fixing real problems instead of obsessing over a vehicle I bought with my own money.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go park my Cybertruck somewhere safe before a Prius brigade shows up with spray paint.