What Happens: We see a quiet night from Rob Gronkowski at tight end.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Evan Lips
Result: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 28-27
Winner Against Point Spread: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Over/Under: Under
MVP: Tom Brady
What Happens: Kansas City Chiefs placekicker Harrison Butker misses a 40-45-yard field goal wide right at the bell. Tom Brady wins another MVP; but Tampa picks off Mahomes twice and hits him again and again.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Matt McDonald
Result: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 35-31
Winner Against Point Spread: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Over/Under: Over
MVP: Blaine Gabbert
What Happens: Tom Brady “wins” a seventh Super Bowl after being yanked in the first half following four interceptions. Little-heralded Tampa Bay backup quarterback Blaine Gabbert comes off the bench and throws three touchdown passes and runs for another.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nasty
Result: Kansas City Chiefs, 6-3
Winner Against Point Spread: Push
Over/Under: Under
MVP: Chiefs’ Long Snapper
What Happens: In a punt-fest, Kansas City’s long snapper is accurate to the punter every time, while Tampa Bay’s long snapper sends one over the head of the punter, leading to the game-winning field goal for Kansas City.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Brutish
Result: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 74-58
Winner Against Point Spread: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Over/Under: Way Over
MVP: The sprinkler system
What Happens: Equipment managers for both teams forget to bring cleats for defense. For each team, their best defensive scheme is when the other team’s receiver drops the ball.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Short
Result: None. Joe Biden declares federal martial law in Florida just before the game and sends in National Guard troops to shut it down.
Winner Against Point Spread: Any Democrat who avoids a camera
Over/Under: Under
MVP: Kamala
What Happens: Nothing happens.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Old Codger
Result: Huh?
Over/Under: Stop talking to me
MVP: My lawn – stay off it. Unless you’re here to shovel. For free.
