The Old Codger on Spring

Printed from: http://newbostonpost.com/2017/05/09/the-old-codger-on-spring/

They say everyone loves Spring.

Well, I say:
 
Phooey!
 
Spring?  Ha!  
 
What’s so great about it?
 
Just what kinds of things do all those foolish happy talkers go on about?
 
Flowers blooming?
 
Well, you know what comes with that?
 
Hay fever!
 
And then there’s bumblebees, wasps, yellow jackets, and all their stinging cousins!
 
And you know what else blooms in Spring?
 
Poison ivy!
 
What else is there?  All the snow melting?
 
Well, let me tell you, mister:  three feet of snow may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but at least when my lawn’s covered with snow, it keeps those kids from walking over it!
 
Then there’s all the birds singing.  Do I like it?  Ha!  How’s an honest taxpayer supposed to listen to his Engelbert Humperdinck records with all them foolish feathered flying rats screeching and twittering in the trees?
 
So that’s Springtime for you:  a magical time of the year:
 
If you like sneezing, scratching your poison ivy, being stung by bumblebees, and being driving up the wall with birds whistling and cuckooing and woodpecking!
 
Now, what do I think about Summer?  
 
I’ll let you know when we get there, but here’s a hint:
 
It’s not good!
 
 
The Old Codger has spent most of his life on the South Shore. He’d prefer you stay off his lawn so that he doesn’t have to tell you to get off it.

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